Category: Uncategorized
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I saw a cigarette butt on the ground today. As I do many times in public…. Not just saw it—locked onto it. As I do everytime. The filter still clean.The paper barely burned down.A “good one.” And before I could even think, my brain did what it was trained to do: That’s going to waste.…
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As spring break began, we went against every instinct I have as a mother. We let my child be exposed to peanuts. On purpose. In a clinic. With a team watching closely. This is part of a clinical study designed to better understand and treat peanut allergies in a controlled setting. I understood the why.…
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I had more caffeine than ever before. Caffeinated, not cracked out. And for a brief, unfiltered moment, I thought, I get it. I could use some drugs right about now too. Not serious. Not even close. Not approval. Not permission. A mockery, almost. Because how do you fall apart to that and add that level…
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On marriage, illness, and learning to love without control. In my best Paul Revere voice, I whisper it to myself. Treatment is coming…. Treatment is coming…. Another day. Another season of stiff body, clenched jaw, guarded steps. Another season of watching the man I love move like every muscle is negotiating its own surrender. I…
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They won’t fit like this anymore. No matching collars. No soft baby cheeks. No arms quite so round, or smiles quite so effortless. Time will stretch them. Shoes will get bigger. Voices deeper. Opinions louder. The physical sameness will fade the way it’s supposed to. But the way he leans in? The way they choose…
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A Trauma Tuesday Potty Story This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. We were shamed, punished, and guilted into compliance, often starting as early as potty training. Control was normalized. Fear was framed as discipline. Obedience was mistaken for connection. I remember spanking my little sister while…
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A reflection on safety, memory, and preparation We don’t always notice the ways we create warmth until the world goes cold. A winter storm, a fragile power grid, an all-electric house — suddenly preparation becomes visible. A warm room plan. Heat packs tucked into blankets. Bottles warmed by human hands instead of outlets. The house…
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Today my son was climbing on a box. He had his legs hanging off the edge, completely capable of putting his feet on the ground. He cried out, “HELP!” We were all busy with other tasks in the house. I could hear it immediately, not a cry of danger but a bid for attention. A…
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It’s almost 2026. For as long as I can remember, I wondered what my life would become.Who I would be.Who would love me.What kind of family I would build. I thought the answers would arrive loudly,like the future finally announcing itself. They didn’t. They arrived slowly.Through years of wondering.Through moments of loss and long stretches…
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Motherhood surprised me with how much love I had and how much capacity I didn’t. This is the story of how daycare became the lifeline that lets me show up with the gentleness I was never taught. “They aren’t babysitting while I rest — they’re helping me rewrite a generational story.”
Finding Forty 